If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy
one.
If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.
If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for
everyone.
If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about
how to defeat his enemy.
If a liberal sees a foreign threat, he wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.
If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his
life.
If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.
If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see
themselves as independently successful.
Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government
protection.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to
better his situation.
If a liberal is down-and-out, he wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he
switches channels.
If a liberals doesn't like a talk show host, he demands that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to
church.
If a liberal non-believer, he wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
(Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)
If a conservative decides he needs
If a liberal decides he wants health care, he demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up,
laughs and is embarrassed.
If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he’s in labor
and then sues.
If a conservative reads this, he’ll
tell his
friends so they can have a good laugh.
If a liberal reads this he will not say anything about it because he’s “offended.”
A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be very liberal, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words redistribution of wealth.
She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch conservative, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.
One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs.
The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.
Her father listened and then asked, “How is your friend Audrey doing?”
She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over.”
Her wise father asked his daughter, “Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.”
The daughter, visibly shocked
by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That's a crazy
idea, how would that be fair! I've worked really hard for my grades! I've
invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to
nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!"
The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, “Welcome
to the conservative side of the fence.”
What has America become?
Has America become the land of special interest and home of the double standard?
Lets see: if we lie to the Congress, it's a felony and if the Congress lies to us its just politics; if we dislike a black person, we're racist and if a black person dislikes whites, its their 1st Amendment right; the government spends millions to rehabilitate criminals and they do almost nothing for the victims; in public schools you can teach that homosexuality is OK, but you better not use the word God in the process; you can kill an unborn child, but it is wrong to execute a mass murderer; we don't burn books in America, we now rewrite them; we got rid of communist and socialist threats by renaming them progressive; we are unable to close our border with Mexico, but have no problem protecting the 38th parallel in Korea; if you protest against President Obama's policies you're a terrorist, but if you burned an American flag or George Bush in effigy it was your 1st Amendment right.
You can have pornography on TV or the internet, but you better not put a nativity scene in a public park during Christmas; we have eliminated all criminals in America, they are now called sick people; we can use a human fetus for medical research, but it is wrong to use an animal.
We take money from those who work hard for it and give it to those who don't want to work; we all support the Constitution, but only when it supports our political ideology; we still have freedom of speech, but only if we are being politically correct; parenting has been replaced with Ritalin and video games; the land of opportunity is now the land of hand outs; the similarity between Hurricane Katrina and the gulf oil spill is that neither president did anything to help.
And how do we handle a major crisis today? The government appoints a committee to determine who's at fault, then threatens them, passes a law, raises our taxes; tells us the problem is solved so they can get back to their reelection campaign.
What has happened to the land of the free and home of the brave?
- Ken Huber
Tawas City